Sadly for all us mums, dads and bosses, competence and protection are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

The more you protect your children (and staff members), the less competent they become.

The well-fed sales consultant never develops her prospecting muscles, the child that wants for nothing, never develops the hunger, abilities, and discipline to get out and achieve things.

Take the lost art of tree climbing as an example…

It is particularly good for children to climb trees. Hand eye co-ordination, risk assessment, decision making skills and physical strength are just some of the many benefits.

Any dad who has taken ownership of tree climbing sessions will relate that the child needs increases in skill at lower level branches. Also, a low level, early fall is useful.  The early fall scares enough to teach, but without any need for hospitals, plaster casts or worse.

Mums are rarely good at this, the urge to protect is just too strong (yes, that was sexist).

The possibility of a fall and a crunch is just too much for the average mum. Men and women are wired differently, hardly surprising if you compare a Stag to a Doe or a Silverback to a female Gorilla.

The current failure to teach that equality for both sexes, does not mean they are both exactly the same, is a crying shame.

Psychologists agree, pointing out that Dads are better wired for enabling competence. This is one of the reasons why having a present and involved father as a child proves such an advantage in life.

In chess, good moves come from strong positions, in life it’s the same. Any success or failure in any part of life comes, essentially, from making good decisions. Good decisions come from a strong position- having depth and breadth of relatable experience.

Turns out, being a leader at home or work seems to be like a tree climbing lesson.  It seems to involve setting ever larger challenges demanding leaps in competence, whilst ensuring that a failure will result in a bloody nosed lesson, but not a severe concussion.

“The north wind made the Vikings” – Proverb

“Someone will discipline your children, either you will, or the world will do it for you. The world will not do it with any love”

–              Zig Ziglar

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